Dawnstar

Interview #4 Rebecca aka Dawnstar

Rebecca and Jason, chef extraordinaires, had just fed us a great homecooked meal and it was now time to begin faze two of the evening: Watching their adorable daughter, Violet entertain us. I think we’ve all been turned off at some point, (especially us unmarried, childless people) by kids that are throwing tantrums or by watching their parents sickenly fawn over their little baby and the wonders of it’s “poopy”. But when I am around Violet I suddenly find myself wanting one of my own. A mini-me to tickle and play with. Then I think of diapers and crying and start daydreaming about the beauty of abstinence. Still, it is very easy to envy Rebecca’s family and see why she loves them so very much.

I began talking myself out of asking her these interview questions. My mind filled with reasons why I should just sit there quietly and not bother her. She’s pregnant which means she must be tired and sensitive so I should let her go to bed and leave her alone. What if she finds me annoying one on one? What if she decides I’m not good enough for Wes? I need a drink—WHOA. There’s my devil creeping in trying to stop me from doing something I know is important so I blurted out,

“Oh! Can I ask you some questions?” as if the notion had just popped into my head.

“Sure, lets go to the table and let the guys play Jason’s new PS3 game.” She smiled adoringly towards her loving husband. (I catch her doing that a lot!)

I took a deep breath, “What comes to mind when you hear the word, Courage?”

“People who can be themselves and accept themselves for who they really are, regardless of size and what society might want them to be.”

Rebecca showed a lot of passion while discussing body issues and the harm that does to females, and some males. Many women have felt they are not pretty, thin or good enough and maybe never will be. Luckily Rebecca’s been blessed with an empowering husband who strives to build her up.

It was clear that her daughter is her soul and her husband fills her heart. They both inspire her to be the best Mother and the best person she can be. But, life wasn’t always as fulfilling and complete for her as it is now.

She’s overcome the difficulty of post-partum depression. She is proud of a courageous step she took in understanding and accepting that anti-depressant’s could help balance out her depression and make her life better. The medication has helped her mood not drop to frightening lows, melted away anxiety attacks and has kept her from being a “righteous whore”, as she put it. Ha!

Throughout her life she has experienced verbal abuse, sexual abuse, confusion and that startling realization that at times she compromised her body so that guys might like her more. I saw that even saying that aloud was embarrassing for her but I know that many of us ladies have been there. For anyone struggling she suggests that you please talk to someone. Don’t keep things buried inside. Talk to a counselor, a friend, a stranger.

Her tight knit group of female friends and her family have helped her heal old wounds. She has taken control of her life and her health and is a shining example of a beautiful, courageous, intelligent woman. The perfect way to describe Rebecca would be the exact words she used to describe her Mother, “funny, sweet, generous, has been through a lot and loves her kids more than anything.” Thank you for your courage, Rebecca. Your daughter has been very blessed by getting you for a Mom!