Husk

Interview #20 - Sara aka Husk

Miss Sara and I met playing Scrabulous together on Facebook. She’s responsible for filling my work days with internet games, convincing me to read the freakishly popular, “Twilight” (Yes, I admit I love the action packed parts of the book), and making me smile from thousands of miles away.

Sara lives in Washington DC where she spends her days in front of a computer searching for some entertainment. The other hours in her day are full of music, fun tv shows and yummy cooking. I do wish she was close by so she could cook for me! She is so sweet to send me her delicious recipes but alas…cooking just isn’t my cup of tea, hmm ironically a cup of tea is one of the few things I can make! Anyway, Sara loves having friends and family over to her house. She is an avid hockey fan and find lots of pleasure in going to games, watching games on tv, getting crushes on players and loving all the fans that are right on board with her. :) I’m glad she has these experiences to find happiness in because as she struggles day by day with depression life can start looking dark.

Chronic depression is a hole that can often seem difficult to find our way out of. Our lows are so desperately low at times and our highs just don’t surface often enough. According to a study by PBS, depression affects approximately 15 million Americans. Thankfully it is one of the easier problems to treat but sadly many people suffer in silence rather than having the courage to admit that they could use a little help. Sara is glad she found the strength to seek help and she knows it has made a positive impact on her life.

Abuse can be defined by a long list of things. Sara believes that all of us have gone through abuse, perhaps on different levels but abuse none the less. She is very proud that she served our country as a Marine but that naturally came with verbal abuse. (Psst, Marine’s are totally bad ass and I’m really impressed with that!) She knows that she has compromised herself physically and emotionally in relationships but she can also she that she cared enough about herself to find freedom from those unhealthy and painful experiences. Her wisdom shines as she speaks about the importance of not forgetting difficult times because we need those to learn and grow.

One thing that Sara and I talked about was our eating disorders. This is a very very uncomfortable topic but it’s something that many people suffer in silence about. There are a few different reasons that people develop eating disorders; Trauma, child abuse, pressures from dance/gymnastics teachers, low self-esteem, and anything that makes someone lose their sense of control. Anorexia, bulimia and the many disorders related to those are highly about control. When I was in the midst of my eating disorder I had just lost control of my safety, trust and innocence at the hands of a masked man and I had just lost my Father. Those were both deeply disturbing and confusing events that made me realize I did not have nearly the amount of control over my life that I once felt I did. I noticed that if I obsessed about my weight, how many calories were in everything, how many inches each body part had, how many calories I could burn with every activity I no longer had room in my brain to obsess over my dead father or how sad and lost I was. So instead of facing those problems I created new ones that were very damaging. Sara feels that she’s hurt herself in similar ways.

It’s amazing to me how much we can take our pain and the horrible actions of others out on ourselves. I’ve met people who have tripled their problems by choosing a rough road after enduring abuse. Drug addiction, alcoholism, cutting, eating disorders, isolation, promiscuity, and generally recklessness are a few ways. I want to urge everyone to please stop hurting yourselves because of what someone else has done. Choose to overcome. Choose to stand up for yourself and value your body and your life!

Sara has done a great job of learning from her past mistakes and not repeating them. She has the courage to keep hope that tomorrow will be a new and better day. Here are some words of advice from Sara, “Demand better for yourself. If you don’t love yourself you are going to give away your power and allow others to take advantage of you. It’s better to be alone than with someone who manipulates you. Trust yourself.”

Thank you for keeping hope through your trials and being a remarkable inspiration to me!