Interview #25 – Stephanie aka Fire
A true “passion-ista”! When I describe Stephanie, “Passion” is always the first word out of my mouth. It’s rare to meet a young woman who engulfs you with her raw open loving strength the first time you meet her. But that’s Stephanie! She’s a ball of energy with an old wise soul. I was very excited to interview her because she possesses qualities and ideas that I wish I embraced more in myself. I was ready to listen and learn.
I sat playing piano and singing, anxiously awaiting her arrival. “Helllllooooo!” I heard through the crack in the door. She was here and best of all, she was bearing gifts! My first baby mama gift bag!! As if I didn’t already think she was cool enough…
“I take myself too seriously,” she said. “I’m working on it.” Taking ourselves seriously, over thinking everything, striving to be some mysterious ideal is something many of us have gone through and I don’t believe that is all bad. I must admit, I feel blessed to have met her at this deep thinker point in her life because her thoughts were flowing. She opened up to me about her childhood, her family, and the personal evolution she’s currently experiencing.
Her parents divorced when she was very young but the tension and pain is still a vivid memory for her. Daddy wounds, as she calls them, are difficult, but not impossible to recover from and it’s often tough to decipher how much those young experiences truly effect our adulthood decisions and biases. Nevertheless healing is very available, it only takes a heart that's open and a soul that's willing. Being without a father was something Stephanie and I had in common and we realized that each of us have spent a lot of time trying to “Be Enough” or constantly be more and better in order to have people want to stay with us. One thing that’s important for us to remind ourselves of is that our fathers leaving was not our fault, was not something we could’ve changed by being “better” and the subconscious actions we still play out as a result of that time period is no longer a healthy or needed coping mechanism. We are enough. We are loved. Life is best lived in the present, not the past.
Here are a few of the great quotes that help sum up Stephanie’s view:
“Others do have an effect on me, as I have an effect on them. It’s not their responsibility how I react to their words or actions but I am an emotional, relational being and the things others do [does] effect me and I'm okay with that. I believe true relationship can only be experienced when there's a genuine exchange of my truth with yours!”
“The biggest battle is the battle between our own two ears.” –(Stephanie’s Mom)
“ Erykah Badu said 'I am an artist and I’m sensitive about my shit.' Artists...that's just how we are!"
For any of us suffering she believes we need to stay in it! Feel the pain; acknowledge it rather than deny its existence. Once we look at it for what it is we can then work through it, take away its power and move to a stronger healthier place. I feel so blessed to have this ignited young woman in my life. She is an inspiration and I can already see how dramatically her heart is going to grow and overflow into others as she blossoms! Thank you for sharing your soul with me!
-If you know a child feeling the effects of divorce here are some links that may help:
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