Jade

Interview #13 – Anonymous aka Jade

Anonymity is important with this interview. Jade, as I will call her, has been through some frightening things that not even some of her immediate family members know about. I could’ve used her name and left out a lot of her more traumatic life experiences but that would have stripped others of the chance to know that they are not alone. As much as I wish that no one else in the world has experienced some of the things Jade and I have, it’s just not realistic. So, she is being very brave in allowing me to share her painful memories in the hope that one of you out there can know you are not alone. You have strength and you will overcome.

This is the most difficult piece I’ve written. I’ve avoided it for a few days now. Her story is so horrible, so similar to mine and I know that a lot of girls have felt what she’s felt. I have cried twice in the past 3 days reliving what she told me. As a person who cries once every few months this is unusual and disturbing and it shows me how important her courage is. I wish I was only angry about her situation but instead I’m angry because what happened to her is happening somewhere to another girl right now. That’s why I’m writing this. That’s why I’m not giving up and ignoring this pain even though I really really want to.

It seemed like just another day at work. Jade was in high school and working at the local pharmacy. As she and her boss closed up for the day her life was quickly turned upside down. Her boss, and very much her elder, sexually assaulted her that day. As a teenager and a virgin her innocence made it almost impossible to do anything but freeze in shock and hope that this was just a bad dream. Jade lived in a small town where her attacker was a beloved community man with a popular family. He was praised and looked up to by many which made her position very confusing. She didn’t tell anyone for a long time. Not even when she miscarried his baby. She kept to herself and repressed her feelings as much as she could. Drinking day and night was all she knew to do. She was promiscuous for a time, racking up the number of men who would actually stop when she said “No”, so that she could slowly find hope that good men exist.

Jade dealt with her heartache in the best ways she could at the time. She eventually asked for some help and starting piecing her life back together. She confronted her attacker. She left that small town and set out to prove to herself that she could be the strong, smart woman that she is. She went to college and earned some very prestigious degrees. (I don’t want to say what her job is to protect her identity.) She has a profession and pay check now that many would envy. She has a giant sparkling rock on her finger given to her by an incredible understanding fun man who she is excited to marry!

She still has struggles. At times she handles them gracefully and in a healthy manner. Other times she drinks as much as she wants. But that is okay with me. She is one of the most intelligent, quick witted, fun loving, courageous and inspirational people I have ever met. For others out there who can see yourself in her story she wants you to remember that you have resilience inside of you. It’s not weakness to need help. It takes strength to ask for what you need in order to be the best person you can be. Trust yourself.

Jade, it’s okay to get scared sometimes. It’s okay to cry and borrow someone’s shoulder. It’s okay blame him and not yourself. It’s okay to trust people. It’s okay to be beautiful.

Thank you so much for sharing your heart, your pain and your incredible courage with me.