Engineer

Interview #11 – Anonymous aka Engineer

An interview in my apartment, “Crap…I have to clean.”

I piled things into the corners, cleaned the wretched dishes and lit my sugar cookie candles just in time to hear a very hesitant,

“tap tap tap,” on my door.

In a light blue sweater and her trademark silver necklace she quietly said, “Hey. Umm so he told me that you were waiting to talk to me…”

This normally strong assertive woman suddenly sounded like a young girl approaching her teacher.

I realized in that moment of tension that I was an unknown in the world of a woman who usually knows what she’s getting herself into. She’s a smart woman and with a stack of degrees to prove that. She seems to put effort into thinking with her head so the prospect of me asking questions to her heart threw her out of her element.

But, all nerves aside she rose to this challenge, as she does to many others and she granted me a sneak peek into her life.

“What motivates you to be your best?” I asked her.

“I don’t want to have any regrets. I’d like to look back on my life and be fulfilled by the choices I made.”

So far she seems to be doing a great job with that. She has a powerful job that allows her to use her knowledge to make a positive difference in her community. She travels, cooks, and enjoys time with friends. For someone with a family spread out all over the nation she has a remarkably close relationship with all her immediate family members. Their support has made the difficult times in her life a little bit easier.

Abuse has occurred in her life, as it has in most of the lives of people she’s known. As a result of abuse she was able to see that she was much stronger than she ever imagined. When her trust for people began to fade it only intensified the value of the trusting relationships in her life. For a time she struggled quite a bit but then there came a distinct and empowering realization. She was allowing the abuse to define her and she knew that had to stop if she wanted to have a worthwhile life.

In the years since making that incredible turnaround she has succeeded in many areas. Beyond her professional accomplishments she feels the most proud of her personal growth. For a woman who does not like to be wrong, hates making mistakes, and needs a certain level of control in her life, it is a big deal that she’s been able to find peace. She’s continually becoming more forgiving of herself.

To sum up her personality I can quote word for word the traits of the grandmother she hopes to be like; hilarious, super intelligent, beautiful and strong.

I smiled at her, “What advice would you give to someone who is dealing with or recovering from abuse?”

“There is light at the end of the tunnel! The tunnel might be long but there is a light at the end waiting for you.”

Congratulations on finding that light, taking control of your life and being an inspiration for the rest of us.